Taking in the good and the bad | blacksheep445's Blog

Today, even though rough has a lesson to be learned like everyday possesses. I had gotten in a fight with my mother, it was my wrongdoing for the outburst but I keep trying to reach out.

My mother not only keeps my ex around but also his girlfriend, who lies, cheats, steals, manipulates etc. Her and I were friends in my rough patch of life, she has done everything she can to try and ruin my life, and instead of my mother defending me she defends her.

I told my mother next time I see the little ***** her and I are to have a talk. What I want to say to her is simple: 1) Quit thinking that my life is your business and quit slandering my name in this small town. 2) The damage she has done is non-repairable. 3) She is not my friend or my family. 4) Also to quit using my family, and me for that matter. 5) She either needs to abide my boundaries or I am going to get physical with her, and I have been trying to avoid it.

Because of her, I don't think my parents will ever care about having a relationship with me again, I am nothing to them now....I just want my family back. I just want them to be proud of me, see how hard I am trying and to love me.

My mother was so upset with my outburst she said that my ex is her family and everyone else can **** off, and said all she wants is for me to get out of her life.

I don't know why I keep trying and I know I do things wrong, but I can at least admit it.

She ended up locking herself in her room, drinking more than likely like usual. But, what I have learned today is life is too short to be angry, and to never give up. I'll never give up on my family even though they don't want me. I swear I will never be like that when I have children I will never be that way EVER.

I am so hurt though, and lost, I'm angry but because I am hurt. I mean how would you feel if your parents chose your ex over you, then his girlfriend because she got pregnant and had a baby? How would you feel if you were being forced to be family with them and when you refuse your mother and father just end up hating you? What if you had no money, and no where to go, and anything you do can get you thrown on the street?

Now what would you do? How would you go about fixing it? Is it worth fixing? I would love to know cause I am at a loss.

On the upside though, my jaw is no longer as bruised from the wisdom tooth removal, and I found places hiring for my fiance, so tomorrow I get to get out of the house and help him find work. I am thankful for warmth, and good health, and my two precious cats that seem to always know how to make me feel better. Even my devil cat lol. I am also thankful that my fiance and I can feed ourselves and feed our cats as well.

Sometimes it's the brighter things that you have to think about no matter how small, just to make your world a little brighter.